2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I missed two days in a row of posting a picture for my 365 Project.  Oh well, there are worse things in the world that happen.  I’m giving myself grace on this project because basically it’s not the most important thing I have been assigned.  My baby Charlotte fell asleep on me today, and while I could think of at least 10 other things I could have been getting accomplished, she was my assignment at that moment.  She won’t be able to fit in my lap in a few years and sleep comfortably under my arms, so I stayed there with her.  My oldest daughter Avery actually took this picture for me.  She came into my room last night at 10 pm after I thought everyone was asleep and whispered, “Mommy, you forgot to post your picture for today!” 🙂 I figured since she cared so much, I would let her take this one for me with my heavy Nikon DSLR.  She’s 6 years old.  Not a bad job, baby girl.

While reflecting on Paul’s inspired words in 2 Corinthians, my own weaknesses came flashing across my mind.  I don’t like to be weak, feel weak, or appear to be weak.  I’m a perfectionist and always have been.  It stinks.  Children have changed me a lot.  I’ve realized that NO ONE can ever accomplish all we expect to because we are human, and none of us are perfect.  I have to give myself grace because God gives me grace.  He tells me that HIS GRACE is enough for me.  When I am weak, that’s when his power is made perfect through me.  Because when I’m struggling to overcome but instead rely on Christ to help me through and I lean on his power, I have more power than I ever could have even on my best day alone. When I am empty and turn to God for provision, he gets the glory.  Not me.

Being honest and vulnerable about our weaknesses make us real, relatable, and point others to God and his awesomeness…not ours.  We are like jars of clay holding valuable treasures.  When we crack, the light inside of us breaks through.  God’s light shines brighter when we stop trying to appear perfect and flawless.  Show your cracks, show your scars, show your imperfections.  Because our job isn’t to get praise for ourselves, but multiply praise for our creator.  Worship the CREATOR, not the CREATION.

With all of that being said, I’ll take the leap in sharing my imperfections, insecurities, and weaknesses in hopes you can see that I’m not that much different than you.  You are not alone in what you are going through.

1. I need people’s approval and praise more than I wish I did.  I want to be free from caring about what other’s may think of me.  Including my own family.
2. Organization and tidiness are not in my nature.  I try to laugh about it, but really feel insignificant as a wife and homemaker because I’m not like the ‘typical’ housewife.  My fear of disappointing my husband makes me incredibly emotional if he mentions anything about the house.
3. Discipline doesn’t come easily for me in areas that I’m not interested in.  I only want to focus on the creative and fun side of life and get distracted easily.  That’s probably why I’m not the best housekeeper.  I’ll end up decorating a corner of the room or editing a sweet picture instead of organizing my office:)
4. The enemy attacks my mind with lies that I’m not enough for my family and that I can always do better.  I fight thoughts that I’ll never be as great (at whatever) as I used to be.  I have a competitive spirit and have to rely on God to break me from “performance acceptance”, especially in my marriage.  Guilt floods me when I think I haven’t done enough, even if nothing has ever been said.
5. Addictions to drugs and alcohol run in our family and some very close family members fight this battle.  Watching it tear them apart and how it has broken our family in different ways is excruciatingly painful.  Learning to love an addict while creating boundaries for my family hasn’t been easy.  It has taught me more about grace, mercy, and unconditional love than any other experience.  I get tired of praying for healing when no results are seen.  However, I know that sometimes the only thing I can do for my loved ones is to pray.  Because God’s power is perfect.

Yea…I fight emotional, spiritual, and mental battles just like you.

BUT GOD…..

But God holds me together, fighting my battles for me.  When I am weak and hand my broken heart over to God in desperation for help, he always shows up.  He gives me the strength to keep moving forward in his truth of WHO HE IS, and WHO I AM.  Regardless of how I FEEL about life and myself, his power is made perfect in my weaknesses.  The Holy Spirit gives me the breath of life that I need to stand up again, take one step forward, and keep my head up.  Maybe you are in that pit right now, and let me encourage you to listen to HIS voice…not the voices in your head.  Put on some worship music, pick up a devotional, or read Psalm 139.  Fill your mind with the truth of WHO HOLDS YOU TOGETHER, and you will forget why you fell apart.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”